


Not a normal "Relationship"

by KiwiCutie013



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Date Night, Grimmons, M/M, Prompt Fic, Simmons overthinks shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 17:57:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19399393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiwiCutie013/pseuds/KiwiCutie013
Summary: Simmons laid wide awake in his bed next to Grif. Maybe he should be sleeping instead of overthinking nonsensical questions...but he kept thinking about the events leading up to them getting together. They obviously didn’t have a normal relationship. They never even went out on a date! Normal relationships did that constantly!Based on the prompt One couple tries to have a “normal/real” date and the shenanigans keep interrupting.





	Not a normal "Relationship"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All_My_Characters_Are_Dead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_My_Characters_Are_Dead/gifts).



> Thank you so much All_My_Characters_Are_Dead for this prompt! Sorry it took so long. I was planning on adding it to a series I was working on but I ended up scraping the idea and posting this as it's own one-shot in Blood Gulch. 
> 
> This is my first time writing a Grimmons based fic. So I'm excited : )
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> <3
> 
> Sorry if I disappoint.

He got the idea late at night, after contemplating and overthinking one of their previous arguments.

****

They argued often.

****

They usually didn’t stop fighting until someone yelled at them to shut up or they would just get bored and talk about something else.

****

Were you expecting something different?

****

So what if a healthy relationship doesn’t argue constantly? He once had to do a study in school about relationships and how arguments affected them. According to his research, couples mainly fight over 3 things. Money, sex, and work.

****

Not them.

****

Their arguments were about stuff like the proper way to change the toilet paper roll, how to pronounce certain words, and TV shows. Sometimes they argued about who had originally started their argument. But they would usually get bored and one of the parties would give up. It didn’t really matter though because no one had cared or probably remembered what the argument was about.

****

Point being their arguments never result in anything too major.

****

There didn’t need to be a winner. There was no long fight over who was right. There was no advancement in the relationship because of these arguments, nothing changed.

****

But this specific argument stuck with him.

****

He vaguely remembers what started it. Simmons thinks it started with him naming shows and Grif picking which one he liked best. Simmons would then insult his answer.

****

_ “How could you even say that? Ok. Star Wars or Star Trek?” _

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_ “I don’t know, I watched a few minutes of it and didn’t like it.” _

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_ “Which one?” _

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_ “Both.” _

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_ “You didn’t like either? But those are some of the best interstellar movie series.” _

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_ “I’m a mysterious man Simmons, there's a lot you don’t know about me.” _

****

For some reason, those words kept sticking with him. He knew a lot about Grif. He knew the kinds of food he liked, the way he liked it, the things he liked doing. Simmons knew about all his sleeping habits. Simmons knew that he had to tuck the blankets under the bed just to stop Grif from ripping them out and covering himself with them as he slept. Simmons knew about all of Grif’s hiding places for when he didn’t want to work. Simmons could tell by Grif’s mood if he needed to wear a seatbelt in the warthog or not. Simmons knew that every once in a while Grif would go over to Blue base and drink with Tucker. During those times Simmons would keep Sarge distracted from the fact that Grif was gone. They worked well together. Simmons saved all his pastry treats for Grif and Grif would purposely cook vegetarian stuff for Simmons. But for some fucking reason, he kept thinking about those words.

****

He kept thinking about all the things he didn’t know.

****

Simmons didn’t know what schools Grif went to. He didn’t know about the subjects he liked, or the high school hobbies and phases. He was clueless about anything regarding his childhood. He didn’t know if Grif had planned on joining the army or if he wanted to do something else with his life. He didn’t know if Grif joined the army voluntarily or if he ran away and didn’t know what else to do. Simmons didn’t know about his favorite color, animal, or holiday. Not major things, but definitely things that normal people knew about each other. But their relationship wasn’t under normal circumstances. They were sim troopers alone in an empty canyon.

****

He kept thinking about how they’re relationship had started.

****

Was it all circumstance? They got together because they loved each other. But was that even why? They hadn’t known each other that well before Blood Gulch. There weren't many people in the box canyon. What if they got together because each other was their only option? Is that even love? It would still be real, right?

****

Simmons remembered he used to have a crush on one of the girls from his unit. He wasn’t gay then. He didn’t think he was. He hadn’t even questioned his sexuality till he spent more time with Grif. Their relationship was based on love right? Simmons kept asking himself that. It wasn’t based on the loneliness of the army, right? If he hadn’t joined the army would he have ever met Grif? He likes to think fate has a way of playing out and if they were meant to be, then it would happen. But in every situation, he can process where he didn’t join the military the results are the same. He never would have met the love of his life.

****

Simmons laid wide awake in his bed next to Grif. Maybe he should be sleeping instead of overthinking nonsensical questions...but he kept thinking about the events leading up to them getting together. They obviously didn’t have a normal relationship. They never even went out on a date! Normal relationships did that constantly!

****

Simmons rolled over on his side facing Grif. He sighed and sat up.

“Grif, wake up.” He said shaking his partner.

****

Grif rolled over taking the blanket with him. Simmons rolled his eyes. “Grif?” He asked shaking him some more.

****

Grif sighed as he rolled over to face Simmons. “Ugh, ‘m sleepin.”

****

“I don’t care, wake up.”

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Grif closed his eyes and snaked a hand around Simmons. “Sleeeeep.” He whined.

****

Simmons shook him off. “Seriously, wake up.”

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“What time ‘s it?” Grif mumbled.

****

“I don’t know like 2 am.”

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Grif opened his eyes and squinted at Simmons. “Why are yo-”

****

“Because I need to talk to you.”

****

“At 2 am?”

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“Shut up and listen.” Grif closed his eyes but mumbled a response and Simmons continued. “I was thinking about something you said last week about me not knowing anything about you and I thought about our relationship and how it was only caused because of us being in the army.”

****

“So?”

****

“You were right. I don’t know shit-”

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“Wow. Smartass admitting he’s wrong.”

****

“Shut up. Don’t interrupt, I’m not finished.” Simmons mused. “This relationship isn’t normal, I don’t even know much about you. We’ve never even been on a date!” He rambled.

****

Grif was silent for a moment before he snickered quietly.

****

“What’re you laughing at?”

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Grif opened his eyes and pulled the blanket up over his shoulders. “You woke me up at 2 am to ask me on a date?” He said with a grin.

****

Simmons blushed. “Well, I- I mean- I guess.” He concluded.

****

“Sure.” Grif said before closing his eyes and tugging Simmons down by his shirt so he was laying in the bed. “Now go to sleep nerd.”

* * *

****

“You ready?”

****

“Yes kissass, just give me a sec.” Grif said pulling a shirt over his head. He smiled up at Simmons who just raised his brow in slight amusement.

****

“How long do you think that’ll keep Sarge and Donut occupied?” Grif asked.

****

Simmons looked behind him at the door leaving his room. “Long enough.”

****

Their plan was simple.

****

Extremely simple.

****

Which was not at all surprising, and totally lame. But at least it meant Grif didn’t have to do a lot of work.

****

“We’re lucky Tucker even agreed to do this for us.”

****

Grif laughed. “I have leverage. He’ll do whatever I want him to do.”

****

Ever since Simmons suggested the idea of a “Date” They had been trying to find a good time to do so. After a while, it became relatively clear that a time wasn’t going to come up, so they decided to make time. Tucker had volunteered to keep the other inhabitants of Red base occupied while Simmons and Grif get some R&R. It was that easy and was currently working.

****

Simmons rolled his eyes and made his way out of the base as Grif followed. It was about mid-day Sunday and no one was really in their armor then, since the whole Red and Blue are the same or some shit. Or something like that.

****

“Follow me, I know a quiet place tha-” Simmons said when he got cut off by screaming.

****

“WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!” Sarge roared ducking behind a large rock with Lopez. Simmons was about to ask what the hell was going on when water blasted from the corners of Sarge’s and Lopez’s cover. Sarge glanced behind him and saw Grif and Simmons standing there watching in confusion. “Simmons! Grif! Get over here and proceed defense protocol!” Simmons shrugged and walked over to the rock as Grif followed.

****

Dammit. Should’ve gone out the back entrance.

****

“Just out of curiosity, what are we hiding from?” Simmons asked.

****

Lopez sighed. “Sólo la ilusión de que esto es un ejército.”

****

Sarge peeked out the side of the rock and immediately had water thrown his way. He ducked quickly looking at Simmons. “Those dirty Blues. They somehow found a way to use water as a weapon and are using it against us. They went so far as to capture Donut! He will be missed. But we must leave him behind, we have to start thinking about the future.”

****

“I’m right here.” Donut said with a smile, seemingly having materialized behind Simmons and Grif.

****

Sarge groaned seeming disappointed. “Dang-nabbit.”

****

“Si nadie me necesita id como para sufrir en paz ahora.”

****

“I knew you would miss me Lopez.” Donut chirped.

****

Grif sighed. “Permission to speak freely?”

****

“Permission denied.”

****

Grif rolled his eyes. “Yea, I don’t care. Simmons and I have shit to do.”

****

“I don’t think so soldier. I need both of you!” Sarge barked. “Donut you take the rear, Lopez and I will take the front going in guns blazing. Simmons, you hook up the hose to the warthog and Grif you drive the vehicle.”

****

Sarge and Donut started making their way to the warthog as Lopez reluctantly followed. Simmons and Grif looked at each other.

****

“Try again next week?” Simmons suggested.

****

“Yup. I need to have a conversation with Tucker on what the word distract means.”

****

Simmons laughed and followed after Sarge and the other Reds.

****

Grif sighed. “This team is going to be the death of me.” He said before following Simmons.

****

* * *

****

They tried again a few days later.

****

Apparently, Blue team was having some issues regarding Caboose. In a last bit of desperation, Washington asked Red team to help...In exchange for his dignity. They had to spend a whole day getting Caboose’s head out of his helmet.

****

No worries.

****

They tried again a few days after that.

****

Apparently, Donut decided to set fire to the entire kitchen, claiming it was a mishap with a shit ton of nail polish remover and a match. So they spent the whole day cleaning and removing the burnt items.

****

“Third times the charm.” Simmons decided.

****

Don’t get me wrong.

****

They tried again.

****

And again.

****

But due to Caboose, Lopez, 5 cans of Donut’s hairspray, 8 batteries, and a red marker, disaster struck again.

****

Grif collapsed on the bed. “What even was today?”

****

Simmons glanced back at him wiping red ink from his face. “Why are you asking me?”

****

“Oh right, you got knocked out.”

****

* * *

****

Long story short, every single time they had a rare case of solitude, something would happen. 

****

They couldn’t seem to catch a break.

****

“Maybe it wasn’t meant to be?” Simmons said with an uneasy smile.

****

“That’s ok, I don’t need to do stuff like that to know that I like you.”

****

“I guess not.” Simmons said with a sigh. “It would have been nice though.” He mumbled. He didn’t want Grif to know how much it meant to him. It was dumb. He shouldn’t care about something as silly as this, but he really wanted to do this.

****

Grif glanced at Simmons “I’m heading over to Blue base. Cover for me?” He asked.

****

Simmons looked up at Grif. “Yea, sure.”

****

* * *

****

“I don’t get it.” Grif admits taking a swig of his beer. “It’s not that big of a deal, right?”

****

“I dunno man.” Tucker somewhat slurs.

****

“Well, he’s such a dork and he rethinks everything. So what if it’s all circumstantial?”

****

“Circumstantionol?” Caboose questions sipping on his juice box.

****

“It means depending on circumstances.” Tucker reminds him tipping back his bottle of beer.

****

“Oh.” Caboose says as if it’s a grand discovery. “Neat.”

****

“Caboose?” Tucker says looking over at him.

****

“Yes, stupid Tucker?”

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“Leave.”

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“Yea ok.” He says getting up and leaving the room.

****

“I guess it’s important to him.” Tucker says to Grif once Caboose has left.

****

Grif rolls his eyes. “I know. But it doesn’t look like it’s happening anytime soon. Every time we try something comes up. And I know he won’t stop until he gets it out of his system.” 

****

“Maybe he doesn’t specifically want a date. It sounds to me he just needs confirmation on your relationship.” Tucker tells him kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

****

“I suppose.” Grif says taking a drink of his beer before looking over at Tucker. “Thanks, I guess.”

****

“No worries, I don’t mind spreading my almighty wisdom. I’m a relationship guru, The Love Doctor.” He says with a wink.

****

“Tucker stop.”

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“Sexacologist, Dr. Fuck.”

****

“I swear to god I’ll tell Wash you want in his pants.”

****

Tucker freezes “Low blow man, low blow.”

* * *

****

Simmons sighs as he enters his room and begins stripping out of his armor. Grif is already leaning against the bed frame with his arms behind his head. He’s out of his armor and is now just waiting for him.

****

“You know we could have used your help out there.” Simmons tells him as he takes off his chest plate.

****

“Honestly, fuck that.”

****

Simmons chuckles and dumps his armor by Grif’s.

****

Grif fake gasps. “Wow. You’re not gonna organize that mess?”

****

Simmons just rolls his eyes and flops down onto the bed next to him. He closes his eyes and it takes him a minute to realize what's different. He opens his eyes and feels the bed that is strangely smoove. He sits up and eyes Grif suspiciously.

****

“Did you make the bed?”

****

“Yes.”

****

“Why?”

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“Would you believe I did it ‘cause I felt like it?”

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“No.”

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Grif sighs “Fine. Well, I know you’ve been being a freak about this whole “date” thing.”

****

“Have not, and what's that have to do with you making the bed?”

****

“First of all, You have, and B, that was to get your attention.”

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“I have not.”

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“Whatever. You were complaining about not knowing anything about me so...ask away.”

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Simmons raised a brow. “Right now?”

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“Yea. You ask me a question and then I’ll ask you one.”

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Simmons nodded and moved to sit in front of him. “Ok. Did you plan on joining the army?”

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Grif thought for a moment. “It wasn’t my plan at the time. I did it more for Sister’s sake.”

****

“Didn’t Sister run away and join the army?”

****

“Yea, that lil bitch.” Grif said with a smile. “My turn, um. Let’s skip to the important topics. Favorite TV series?” Simmons opened his mouth to speak and Grif interrupted him. “That means episodes. No movies.” He added.

****

“Ok. Friends...or Cheers. Actually, Cheers was better.”

****

“Cheers kicked ass.” He joked.

****

“Ok, funniest childhood memory?” Simmons asked.

****

Grif thought for a few seconds before laughing. “One time Kaikaina got this pink electronic unicorn thing for Christmas. It was great. It moved around and talked and did all sorts of shit. I remember I got mad at Sister once and I kicked the thing. The unicorn lit up and it’s fucking head started spinning, then it started chasing me. Funniest fucking thing I’ve ever experienced.”

****

Simmons started laughing. “What the fuck?”

****

Grif smiled. “And I stood there for a second like what the hell is going on? Sister and I exchanged glances at each other and we fucking bolted out of there while the demonic thing followed us.”

****

They spent the rest of the day laughing and talking.

****

And you know what?

****

Maybe they didn’t need to have a normal relationship. He didn’t need to know everything about Grif, he didn’t need to have a predetermined love life. He was ok with this. He enjoyed talking and laughing with Grif. He enjoyed his crazy family.

****

This was good enough and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.


End file.
